The Life of Derek

Is this the final day of my student life???

2008-11-10T10:41:00.001-08:00

Hey guys...it has been really a long time since i made an entry here. Dont ask me why...but i juz didnt do it and the last post was made in May 2006. How time has gone by...its been more than 2 years since i last made an entry. Ohh well...fast forward to 11th Nov 2008.

I have finished my paper and i think this would be probably be the last paper i will ever take as a student. To have come this far, i think i have punched above my weight. People who have known me since i was a young boy and always thought that studies has never been something I'm good at. I dont think i have to prove to anyone else.....

This journey has been an amazing one. The support i received from my parents, liyan and my good friends have been immensed over the last 2 years. But deep down in me, i think the support i had from the Lord above pulled me through. There is this place where i normally have my dinner and they have an interesting poster on the wall. I cant exactly remember the words but the story is somewhere along this line.....The Lord promised that He shall walk beside me in good and bad times...when times are good...there will always be 2 pairs of footprints on the sand...but when times are bad....there will only be a set of footprints. It would be His footprints because He will carry me through these trying times and He will never let go off me.

When i think abt this poster...i am sure He has carried me through all these times and i know when i call upon Him, He will never fail to response and i have personally felt the goodness of God in me. As i sit on my chair pondering how i did in my exams and my future, i juz cant help but worry. I spoke to my yee yee and she told me to cast all my worries onto God and He will take care of everything and His ways are far greater than mine. Lord....i will cast my worries and my fears onto ur hands and You will finish this journey which we have started together. I give You praise and thanks for without You...i would not be able to achieve this much. Thank You, Lord.

As I begin a new chapter in my life, I will continue to cast my fears and doubts onto the Lord's hands and i know He will be there for me....I am ready to come back to Spore and fufill my ambitions.

Dad & Mum: I am ready to accept the responsibilities to help in the family business and i will promise to give my best under all circumstances and bring the organisation to another level. Mum, i finally understand why it is important to have at least ONE praying parent and i fulfill this role when i have my family. God has certainly showered His Blessings upon Blessings onto us and I thank Him!!!

Darling: We will have many discussions when im back. But i will cast these problems into God's hands and He will show us the way to happiness. I have absoulte trust in Him. Darling....I love you and we will sort things out together. As long as we have a common goal together, with God's guidance and His love for us...we will get there somehow. Dont for a moment give up on this journey which we started 7 years ago....once again....I love you and i want to grow old with you.

To myself: All things are possible with God and His ways are above all other ways and I will continue to pray and give thanks....Thank You for standing by me through these period....I love You....

Granny: Im coming back to see you !!!! YEAH !!!! I love you, Granny....You have contributed immensely to the up-bringing of ur favourite grandson and you will never be forgotten how much you have done for me. I love you...Hugz and kisses !!!!

The Day I lost My Soul.....

2006-03-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

Hello people....It has been a very very long time since i last blogged but i realised something. I'm actually using this avenue to pen down all my problems and heartaches i have. Therefore if i have not been blogging for a long time, it only means im doing good and having the time of my life. Looking at the title of my blog, i think u sense someone has left me and returned back to heaven. Well...i can safely say, NO. Its juz a feeling i have at this point of time.

My Grandmother has been admitted into hospital. But nothing serious, its juz becoz she is getting on in her years and some of her bones are degenerating resulting in a lower back pain. Really..Nothing Serious, she is resting well and doing just fine.

I'm close to my grandmother and seeing her in this conditions pains me. It was juz last wednesday where i had to carry her to the doctor. With each step i take, i can feel my heart bleeding coz i remember the time when she carried me in her arms looking at me with her tender loving eyes. I guess this is the time where the Lord wants me to fulfil my duty as a grandson to her.

Tonight (14/3/2006) is the day when i realised i have lost my soul! My Uncle is going to take my granny to stay with him come May. I'm going to miss her so much!!!!!!! No words can describe how much i'm going to miss her. At my place now, my mum and yee yee always take her out for lunches, bring her to shoppping malls and take her for car rides. But the very thought of her moving out and living in a different environment pains me. I'm not going to see her everyday, not going to plant a kiss on her forehead everynight, not watching TV with her..Sigh...so many things we did together and come May, i will not be able to do this with her as much as i want to. In fact, I intend to bring her to church every sunday and accompany her through the Chinese Session but i guess all the intentions have come to naught.

To my granny:
Even though u r moving out, I'm very very certain the gates of my house will always be open and ready to welcome u back anytime. Though we will miss each other's company, i will find time in between the week to visit you and bring along your favourite food. How much i miss you is nothing i can describe and i'm sure you will miss the company you once had. I hope there will be changes in plans and you remain by my side. I love you Granny.

To whom it may concern:
Pls spare a thought for Granny before you make such a decision. Will she be happy !!?? Will she be as well taken care of as compared to now !!?? Cant she decide on where she wants to spend her remaining years!!??

No offence to anyone. But i juz love my grandmother and i want nothing but the best for her as she moves into her twilight years. As a grandson, i guess i have no say in anything but juz look with saddness as my love one leaves for another place to live in.

I LOVE YOU GRANNY......

Long Long Time.....

2005-11-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hello guys..I think you must have been going into my online blog but have been disappointed coz i have not blogged for a freaking long time. Ohh well...i have been so bloody busy with my work and i dont even have time to do anything for myself.

Hmm...time to reflect back on the past month. Lots of things to say. Life has been pretty fair to me so far even though work is up to my neck. Trying to be positive all the time and bring laughter to the ppl ard me especially my camp mates and my Mdm as we head towards ISO Certification. Really hope we will achieve our goal and we can start to turn off our power brain for the next 2 months at least.

Between me and my girl..things have been pretty good. I can see she is trying to accomodate to the busy schedule i have and trying her best to be more understanding towards me. Dont worry my dear, i can see for myself and i will know how to take care of you. I will miss u when u go for ur long deserved holiday break in Taiwan.

Now for my studies...I have applied for a course in ITE (Basic Fundementals of Hydraulics) and im still contemplating if i should do a short course in Mechanical Engineering. Sigh...from my previous blog, i think you would have heard me mentioning abt doing something i really want during my army time. My plan was to do an Specialist Dip in Branding. But alas, my dad intervened and was not happy with my plan before i complete my liability to my nation!!! I was screwed by him and once again i decided to drop my Branding Course. I juz want to add something here...taking over and helping my dad in his business is not something i want. I gave up my dreams of working in a hotel for him. I rejected the chance to study Hospitality in Temasek Poly for HIM, i took up Marketing beccoz of him and now im doing something i dont like becoz of HIM once again!! Y!!?? Y!!!? Y!!?? I dont know how will i feel when i turn 50 !! I would sit down and ask myself..WHAT IF !!?? I could live my life with regrets and think abt what i really wanted to do. Pls dont get me wrong abt me not interested in helping my dad. I juz feel becoz im his only SON and its only RIGHT i fulfill my responsibility and help him continue his business. I will try my best and hope God guides me through the uncharted waters when i finally help my dad with his business. ITS NOT A CHOICE I HAVE !!! Oh well, i hope God speaks to me soon and tell me whats the best path for me to take.

Dad and Mum, if u happen to read this blog somehow, dont worry abt me. Im doing fine and this blog allows me to vent my fustration. Im old enough to think and i have decided on what's best for the family even though im not living my dreams. I will come good. Mum and Yee Yee, continue to pray for me and inform God to give me wisdom, the strength, the determination, the drive and the discipline to allow me to make sound decisions to continue the success my dad have when i finally take over.

Ohh well...i think thats enough for today and at the end of the day, I juz another boy who is trying to live his dream but has made sacrifices to the family to make everyone happy. There is this saying that you can't please everyone in the world but at least please yourself to ensure happiness. Hmm..i beg to differ and i think i would please my dad and mum even though the path i take will not make me happy. Important thing is that they remain happy and feel less worried abt me.

Time to send a msg to God before i log off..Err..His email add would be Http://www.God_loves_derek@heaven.com .... haahahhaa..to think i can come out with such address at this point of time...Im fine...Dont worry abt me ppl...

God, my life will always be in ur hands and i have complete trust in You. Guide me through the winding road ahead and I believe You will help me make the right decisions when i come to another crossroad of my life. Thank You and continue to bless everyone ard me.

Friends!!?? Im begining to lose faith in the meaning of FREINDS!!!

2005-09-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hello guys!! Its me again...you must be wondering what the hell is happening. From my previous blog, i think you would know i feel strongly abt friendships and i believe that no matter what happens, friends will always be ard you to make sure you get through this difficult patch.Im not trying to say my good friends r doing this to me. But too much has happened within the group recently and i am starting to doubt the committment we once share among all of us. But im determine not to let this break up the entire group!! This grp of friends will grow old and die together.

Ohh well..you must be thinking what is happening. I think i wont use this blog to address the problems we have. I feel we have to solve this internally and we must be fair to all parties involved. I wonder if you guys are reading this but i know that as true friends, we want the best for each other, we mean no harm towards one another and most importantly, we will get through this together. There will be abuses hurled at one another but DONT take it to heart. We will juz lay the cards on the table, have an open mind and try to understand what the other parties are trying to say.

The end result of laying the cards on the table is to solve all exsisting conflicts among all of us and put us back on the right track where we will depend on one another throughout our life and always be there for one another.

I will end this blog with this quote and i think this quote would perfectly suit the predicament we are in now."A true friend should have a fair-sized cemetery to bury his friends' mistakes, faults and wrongs."

Take care guys. God bless you. Love u always :)

Relationships??? Whats happening....

2005-09-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hello guys...its me again....i finally have the time to update my blog. Wow..it has been ages since i last blog but i guess i must have been gathering all my thoughts and feelings for a month and spilling them all out at one short..haahahaa... :)Ohh well...looking at my title..you must be wondering how me and my girl are coming along? Well...it has been nothing short of spectcular...we have not had an agrument for quite sometime already and i finally feel we r begining to understand EXCATLY the needs of each party. We had a fanstastic month of AUG and come end Sep, we would be celebrating the bond we shared for 4 years!!! Times has really flown past us and i believe we will always treasure the time we had.Now..this has been the main thing which has been bugging me of late..i have one friend who has juz fallen out of love and is into a depression. I could only see her getting herself hurt and i could not do anything but juz to lend her my ears and hear her out. It left me wondering y a guy would do such a thing. How could u be with a girl for a year and unable to shake of the so called "shadow" of his Ex. Its like..WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! I seriously look down on such guys...its not the RIGHT way to treat a girl....Be fair man...here is a girl loving u with all her heart and u juz not being able to committ urself becoz of the shadow...Come on man..dont be a fucking WUSS and i believe that a fantastic girl is standing right before you!!!Sigh...i dont know whats going to happen to her but im hoping all things will turn out fine and she can move on with her live.Hmmm......i have nothing more to say...juz tired and going to bed now..getting ready for a new day in camp !! take care guys...love you always...Muakz...Glod Bless You!!!

A Tribute to Max..My Favourite Dog...

2005-07-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

Hello guys....Its me once again. This blog is a tribute to my Dog (My little mum mum). Hey Max, i know all dogs go to Heaven and i know you have arrived at a paradise looking down on us all the time. The 12 years you spent with me will forever be remembered. From the little dog we purchased at Serangoon Gardens to a "Old Man", i guess it was love at first sight and we knew you had to follow us back to our house and spend the remaining years in our place. Oh well, you have brought us many joys and laughter over the last 12 years and i my heart, you will always be my favourite dog.

I know my entire family will miss your constant yelping and the lazy attitude you carry ard the house. When i walked through my door looking out of my gate, i know there is something greatly missing in my place. Its you..My dear little Max. I still remember clearly how i touched you head and called ur pet name as i left home. Looking into ur eyes, i never expected this would be the last time seeing you a life. If i had knew it, i would have carried you in my arms and give u a big bear hug....How much i miss you Max !!

Now, when i have my dinner, you wont be ard pestering me for food. The last meal i fed you was your favourite food, Egg Yolks and Bua Gua. But now, having egg yolks and bua gua have taken a differnent meaning as you wont be ard sharing the food i have.

My dear little Max...I just want to thank you for all the memories you have given me and my family over the last 12 years. May you rest in peace as we continue to come to graps over the sudden death of you.

Hey guys, you must be thinking what is derek trying to do?? Being so emotional over a dog. Well, he is juz like a family member to me and without him by my side now, there is a sene of emptiness in me. Though he is juz a little dog we have, the love i have for him is the same as compared to my family. His departure has left me a deep sense of guilt. Many questions came to my mind but its too late to do anything.

Though the departure of Max has affected me in someway or another, the events which unfolded today taught me a valuable lesson. Treat all your family members as if you would not live to see the next sunrise coz you will never know when they will depart. By the time they have departed, you will live with guilt and wondered what you could have done to made them feel happier and less worried abt you. Hmm....I have a strong feeling Max is trying to teach me a lesson with his departure.

Alright guys, a tired and heavy heart is definately not the way you want to end the day but the day has come to an end and i will leave you guys to ponder over what i have juz said in my blog.

Max..a final word befor i end this tribute to you. "Thank you for all the memories you have given me and may you rest in peace"

I love you guys and may the Good Lord continue to shower his blessing upon you. Goodnight...

Bo Bo Shooter..Must be the Rifle..Sigh!!

2005-07-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

Hello people out there!!!! Its me once again...Derek Chua is in Da House!!! haaahahaa...
Alright alright..you must be wondering what the hell is a Bo Bo Shooter..hmm..well...its a army slang used to describe a person who is not able to hit the targets with his weapon (rifle) and as a result of this, he fails the test. Well...it juz happened to me on tuesday and i cant believe such a thing happened to me. I failed by 1 shot !! DAMM IT and the worst part is i have to return to the range once again for another re-shoot in 3 months time. During my Recruit days' i hit 28 out of 32 targets. Now..a pathetic figure of 13 out of 28...Sigh!!!

Hmm...the only fun part of going to the range is to fire off the weapon but the most shitty part is the waiting time in between the day shoot and night shoot. Can u imagine juz firing off 16 rounds in 20 mins and then u wait till night fall before firing off another 12 rounds. Its so fucking boring man. Juz sitting there and doing nothing. I juz wished it was winter in Spore so night fall could come at 4pm...Enough of Live Range, the more i talk abt it..the more depress it becomes but i guess it juz wasnt my day and i know God has other plans for his beloved Derek!! haahahhaa

I went back to camp on wednesday and i realise how good a military life im leading. Juz sitting down in the Air-Con room on my comfortable office chair made me a happy soldier for once. Haahaha...missed all my friends in camp and they had a good laugh at the failure of my range. Though i stayed back in camp to help out in some kind of ceremony, i was more than willing to do it!!! Suprising for a person like me...:)

The highlight of wednesday was the meeting of my darling liyan!! Looked forward to seeing her as i had a terrible monday and tuesday! I was thinking of her all day on wed and was a eager beaver waiting to meet her...haahahahaa!!! We had home cooked food prepared by the Master Chef herself, ROSALIND CHUA aka my beloved mum!! haaahaaaaa...

I juz had a talk with my dad the other day and he told me the company is doing much better as compared to the past. Though revenue is coming into coffers, my life hasnt improve much. My dad has not purchase what i want. Dad..if you are reading this...(high unlikely)..i want a CAR!!! It has become a need for me now!!!! Juz a normal saloon car will do..PLs dad...

Let me ponder through what other significant thing happened to me??? Naw...i think thats abt it..nothing else worth mentioning already. Ok guys...i leave you here now...thank you for taking time off to read abt Derek's life...haahaha..take good care of urself ppl...i will see you guys soon. Love you Lots...Miss you too..take care and God bless you!!!

A week in Motion!!!

2005-07-16T15:15:00.000-07:00

Hello guys!! Im back once again to blog! Have not been blogging for quite some time already...too caught up with work as my upper study is leaving for good this coming friday. Lots of work to be done.

Ohh well..once again this week has flown past me again. Time seems to be going at a quicker pace with each passing month!!! haahahaa..good for me...wings are begining to grow as i complete my first year of service.

Had an arguement with my mum over the usage of car last weekend!!! Damm it man!!I really really need a car to get me to places. Moreover i would be having night classes next year and i think having a car would be even more essential as i travel between home..camp and NYP. I think after so many years of studying, i will be doing something which interest me. A Specialist Diploma in Brand Management. Im doing this course for the sake of getting myself prepared for Uni when i complete my army. Too long away from books can do a great deal of damage to the brain!!! haahaahaha

Well...i think the coming week would be a busier one as i will only return back to camp in mid-week because of my "Live Range". Fucking shit man...i always hated range..you shoot 16 rounds and then u wait the whole fucking day till night falls and then start shooting another 16 rounds. The wait is too long man...juz sitting there and doing nothing can kill....The worst part is to clean the damm fucking rifle...fucking tedious and a real waste of time....Im not aiming for any marksman...i juz want to do my best and never return to the range for another year at least.

My mum juz spent an hour talking to me abt being a responsible married man!! I juz sat there and tried to absorb as much as i can but i can only remember one sentence she said "Derek, if you must marry, you must be committed to the marriage and must shoulder the responsibility of taking good care of the family. This commitment must stay with you for life when you decide to settle down" Ohh well...it seems as though she thinks im going to marry tml...haahaa..but i know what she is trying to say and what she said to me will forever be inscribed in the palms of my hands and i wont forget it. Sounds serious eh??? Always remember man..although im quite a cock person at times, i can be very serious and focus if i need to be. Give Derek a chance to be taken seriously at times...haahahahaahaa :)

Hmm...half the year has gone already. Im looking forward to december coz im trying to make plans with my girl to go HK for a short holiday. Im praying all will turn out fine and hope we can make this trip together.

Ok guys. Enough of blogging today...fingers are turning numb and eyes are getting a little watery. Time to treat myself to a enjoyable afternoon nap. Take care guys. Will be thinking of you all...Have a good week ahead. God bless you. Love you !!

A Slow Week..Trying to Remain Positive

2005-06-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

Slow way to start the week..trying to be positive
Hello guys...its me again !! haahahaa..has been a week since i last blogged. Wonder how are my closed ones and good friends are doing?? Really missed you guys man!!Anyway..this week didnt started well. There was this course opening on monday where i had to report to camp a little earlier than usual but i woke up super late and only arrived in camp at 8 15. Got told off by my Mdm but i juz took it in my stride and apologised to her. Being the happy-go-lucky person i didnt really let this bother me too much as i had huge amount of work to clear coz i was on half day leave on friday. Im looking forward to this coming weekend where i will spend 2 days away from hustle and bustle of Spore. I would be going to some beach resort with my darling!!! haahaha..had not been on a trip with her since december when i POP.

Sigh...My upperstudy met with a car accident today. He called me at 7 05 in the morning and informed me of the bad news. Well....at least the passengers and him are fine. Thats the most important thing...Repairs and doing all the car documentation needed to claim insurance are SECONDARY. I know you are pretty shocked over what has happened. But i know there is something niggling in your heart. Someone didnt bother calling you and asking how u r doing. Dont worry bro...when such things happen..you will know who r the ppl impt to u . You will get what i mean in time to come.

Another event happened last week and i think i will pen it down in my blog. I spoke to my best friend of almost 17 years. We had a very very long chat and i realise he is one of the most important person in my life. Without him, i think i wouldnt be what i am today. The chat we had brought us down memory lane where we reflected on the worst part of our life. Hey bro..i know when its time to move up the extra gear to achieve ur goal. You will make it...i know it and i have the utmost confidence in your abilities. Whats over is over..you are done and through with the bad patch..Beyond the horizon lies a beacon of light where you will find hope and courage to face all the problems you have. Hey bro...i juz want to say you have been a very very good companion to me over the last 17 years and i really appreciate the special bond we both share.

Alright Alright...you guys must be thinking im very emotional and all but this are juz my personal feelings and thought i had over the week and i think i should pen it down in my blog.Ok ppl..time to head to my bed and have a good rest coz its another new day... :) Love you ppl..take care and God bless You!!! *hugz*

An Older but Wiser Derek i hope....

2005-06-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Hello guys....its been a while since i last blogged. Another week has juz flown past me again!! Too fast man..I'm 23 already. Juz celebrated my birthday with my family and my darling. She bought me a Tag Heuer for my birthday. Words cant describe how bad i feel. The watch cost her almost 4/5 of her pay. Though i really like the watch, seeing her spending such money on me made me feel so guilty. She faces so much stress at work and gives tuition 3 times a week juz to save enough money for her up coming trip, her future studies and her dream car and yet she spends money to buy this watch. I juz want to thank you for the present you gave me and i thank God for having such a wonderful girlfriend.

Hey sis, kc and tarts. Thanks for giving me the bubble foot spa. I have been using it of late and juz putting my feet in the warm water with bubbles floating on the water surface gives me much pleasure and a sense of relaxation after a hard day's work in camp. Thank you guys for giving me such a thoughtful present.

Oh well, a year older and a wiser derek would emerge! I have decided to go ahead to do my SATS and see how well i do. If my results are of average i think i may head to America to do my studies. But Perth (UWA) will always be on my mind when i make my final decision on where im going to study. My best friend (Marcus) encourage me to further my studies in America as the prospects are better and i would be able to fully experience the feel of studying abroad. But studying in Perth is someting i think i would really enjoy becoz of the culture, the ppl, the lifestyle and most importantly im close to my family. Tough decisions have to be made and i think i will give myself time to really decide what i really want.

Rest assured Darling, i will definately come back for you when im done with my studies. Give me 2 years and if things work out, i promise you that i will give you a good life in the future. I hope you would be the person i would be providing for in the future.

Alright guys, its time to call an end to the day. Time to rest my tired mind and i will catch up with u guys soon. Take care and God Bless you always. Love u guys....

What a week it has been!!!

2005-06-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

This week has zipped past me !! Good that time is passing really fast as it means im a week closer to my ORD date..haahhaaa!!

Ohh well...i was so busy this week that i hardly had time for myself. It was juz camp and back to my home!! Anyway..my camp visited a Home for the disabled and aged. I met this really nice old man by the name of Daniel. He left me a deepest impression becoz this old man is so positive abt everything he talks abt despite his age!! I really admire him for his courage to live even though he lost his entire family during the japanese occupation!! Heres to u Uncle Daniel..May the Good Lord bless you with the best of health in the coming years. On the other hand, i met this SHIT HEAD!! He is a real asshole in the home..a young man wheelchair bound becoz of some training accident. In the begining, i felt so sorry for him but as soon as we engaged in some games, he lost his bloody temper at me becoz he lost!! I was like fucking pissed with him man!! No one treated me in such a manner before.. FUCK YOU asshole !!! :)

I will dedicate this part of my blog to my darling liyan!!! Darling, i understand u r facing some stress from work at the bank! But hang in there ok, you will do juz fine and i believe u have the capabilities to solve the problems at work. Now for our relationship,
"Destiny isn't tailor-made. It's hand stitched."
Baby, this is for you coz u always believe that we cannot control our relationship. But im trying to stress this point across to you that we can both control our destiny and continue on this wonderful journey we started 3 years and 8 months. I love you always.

Alright Alright..its kinda late already lah..im turning in and i will blog once im free. Love you ppl always..take care and we will speak to each other as soon as time permits!!! God Bless You...

Virgin Blog

2005-05-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

Hello Guys...it my first blogging session online!!! I think i have lacked too far in terms of being IT savy. Shucks...its time to pull up my socks and try to learn things that would improve my life. Well..first and foremost..i'm in the army now and how good can life get at this point of time?? But i guess im juz going through the motions and tyring to make the best of out everything...trying very hard to remain positive at all times even though the work im doing in camp sucks big time.

Hmm...i have the whole house to myself this week coz my parents and sister are on their way to Perth as i blog now!! The only advantage of them being abroad is that i get to use the car for the entire week!!! YAY !!! But the downside is i have nothing to eat to fill my bottomless stomach !! Cant stand the sight of canned food and instant noodles.....SIGh..Mum...come back as soon as possible..i miss ur cooking..haahahahaa :)

Ohh well...im going to bed already. I have to wake up early tml and head to camp becoz there is some big shot coming over to visit us and we have to actually serve them and clean up the place when they leave!! Wonder where all the cleaners!!?? UNCLE, AUNTIE..if u r smart enough to know there is such a thing called blogging and you happen to come across this page..PLS HELP US CLEAN THE CAMP...:) haahahahaa...

Alright alright..im done for the night..going to hide under my blanket and talk to my darling liyan before i sleep...take care guys....i will meet up with u all real soon...